God Bless the Child That's Got His Own

In my Freshman year in high school, I entered the guidance counselor's office and experienced a trans-formative moment. I was asked, in preparation for choosing my high school curriculum, what I wanted to do with my life. No, I take that back. That was not the question. I was there to choose between typing, shorthand and cooking classes. I was the youngest in my family and in that small town, we were not considered "college material." Our majors were in "shop", and secretarial skills. But that day, I asked about courses that would prepare me for college. "Just in case" I said. A little taken back, the counselor said, "But your brothers and sisters are in non-regents classes. Wouldn't you be better off there?" She knew my parents did not graduate from high school and with the exception of my oldest sister, my siblings were not exactly stellar students. I don't know why I said what I said but I would learn, it would not be the last time I reached beyond the boundaries already in place for my gender and economic class.

I remember this encounter clearly because it was a defining moment. Many years later at a high school reunion, I learned that the guidance counselor also remembered it clearly.

What makes some of us go beyond limitations or expectations? All of us know someone who rises above what their siblings and friends achieve, who excel in spite of poverty, drawbacks, race, gender, dysfunction, and class. What makes the difference? We all know the success stories of kids with talent whose light shines through, and the families and friends who supported them. But what about the others? The ones without the assistance of society who still lift themselves to a much higher level than anyone dreamed, even themselves.

As a Family Court Judge, I often saw kids in front of me without hope, one after another literally by the hundreds, and then one would be standing there who very simply turned the page from an impossible situation with no hope of a future to a path of purpose and contribution. I never knew why but I understood.

Recently, I was watching a recording of the TV series, Friday Night Lights which has such moments of genius underneath its typical TV soap-opera narrative. I watch for those moments and one surfaced from the character Tyra who is born into a lower class trashy drunk of a family and at 13 was well on her way to the strip-bar, a life of depressing poverty and too many unwanted pregnancies. Somewhere on her way to adulthood, she transforms very simply and not all at once. In a letter supporting her application for college she writes:

Two years ago, I was afraid of wanting anything.
I figured wanting would lead to trying
And trying would lead to failure,
But now I've found I can't stop wanting.

I want to fly somewhere in first class,
I want to travel to Europe on a business trip,
I want to get invited to the White House,
I want to learn about the world,
I want to surprise myself,
I want to be important,
I want to be the best person I can be.

I want to define myself instead of having others define me.
I want to win and have people be happy for me.
I want to lose and get over it,
I want to not be afraid of the unknown,
I want to grow up to be generous and big-hearted the way that people have been for me.

I want an interesting, surprising life.
It's not that I think I am going to get all these things,
But I just want the possibility of getting them.
College represents the possibility,
The possibility that things are going to change.

I can't wait.

Those words expressed my thoughts when I was fourteen. And I think the key to that life-changing moment was me taking charge of my life. The child who does that in face of all odds is the child in the song written by Arthur Herzog, Jr and sung by Billy Holiday .....

Them that's got shall get
Them that's not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own
That's got his own

Yes, the strong gets more
While the weak ones fade
Empty pockets don't ever make the grade
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child that's got his own
That's got his own...

So, congratulations graduates and "hello world" to those "that's got his/her own."

Where did I leave off.....

Okay, I am back...back in Rochester and back to my blog. After spending a week with my children and grandchildren in Denver, I flew to Phoenix and drove up to Sedona. If you haven't seen red rock country, you really should try to do that. It is beautiful and staying at a resort that had the "snoopy" red rock configuration for a view was just heavenly. Four days connecting with the spirits of the mountains was very refreshing. There are urban myths that aliens are already here, living in the Sedona area...with the government's knowledge and permission, of course. I love speculating on who is an alien...is it the wierd looking guy you just walked by on the street or the beautiful blonde at the pool?? They copy humans, of course. :)

Then, it was on to Phoenix and visiting with my dear friends who are transplants from the East but have been in Scottsdale so long, they are really locals. I shortened my stay there to two days and headed home. I was done with traveling and glad to get back even if there was two months of mail waiting, a house badly in need of work and a long list of projects.

Besides the house, I continue reading screenplays, judging the competition for the local film festival. I read the entrants, picked five finalists and the winner. I look forward to the reading that will be performed live at the festival in early May. Check it out---High Falls Film Festival's "Screenplay Live!" It is also nice having my son, Gordy using my home as "base camp" while he pulls together his next movie project. It is a wonderful script and he will be directing it sometime this summer, hopefully.

The news continues to place second or third in my priorities but I do find some of the events interesting. Watching Arlen Spector do his "Staying Alive" dance is amusing and could Joe Biden create any more awkward moments for his President. The press continues to give him a pass every time. "It is just Joe", they say....mmmm....wonder what they would be saying if it were Sarah Palin? I continue to watch several news channels so I can hear all sides of an issue. Those of you who watch just CNN and/or MSNBC are hearing news that is slanted and you need to throw in some of the other outlets before you decide what your own opinion is on any subject.

Movies are typical summer fare but I am looking forward to some. Midnight tonight is the opening of "Wolverine" and I am there with my grandsons and their friends. What?! As my son said, he is positive I am taking to retirement better than anyone he knows. I think he is right.

Traveling with Marilyn

"It's official", my daughter Jill said to me as I was leaving the bitter cold of the Northeast for sunny (I hoped) Florida, "You are a snowbird!" 

And that, dear friends, is why I haven't posted in quite a while.  So here is the catch-up.

I first visited friends in Naples (Florida) which is more Eastern than Southern.  It does not take long to find someone from home.  Once a month, the local Abbott's Ice Cream stand holds a reunion-like "Rochester" night. I am told even Brother Wease of talk radio shows up there.  

 The locals were complaining about the cold weather.  Yes, it was in the 50's a couple of days....... oh dear.....!  I left Naples after a few days traveling back in time to Gasparilla Island, a place where I have some history.  When I graduated from Law School, three of us took annual vacations on that little known island where the only grocery store opened and closed whenever it felt like it and was never open on Sunday.  

To get to the Island, you have to cross a toll bridge and once there, you really don't want to leave.  The atmosphere has not changed and while I had some difficulty with my weekend reservation, I settled for a night at the Gasparilla Inn made famous by the Bushies.  It is old Florida with jackets and dressy dresses for dinner.  Obviously, the clientele was a bit over 50 and if you considered only men, it was pushing 70. I ate in one of the many good restaurants and took a trip down memory lane visiting Miller's, The Pink Elephant, Fugate's, and of course, the beach.  The balance of the time was at Boca Grande Club, an upscale development with many condos and villas.  Mine was on the beach and it was my long day there that ended with a water-logged phone.  How was I supposed to know the bottle leaked?  Like Scarlett, I said I would think about it tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and I headed for Orlando to meet a friend and use a time-share I have with Marriott.  This was located a couple of miles from Disney and was really lovely.  Great accommodations, setting and weather---great weather!!  We really became tourists, sleeping in....actually that was me, Joyce is up at dawn.  She also cooks great meals so food was not an issue.  I have known Joyce since we were in grade school and it was terrific to re-connect.  

While there, we saw the shuttle launch (wow!), shopped, and sat in the sun by any one of several available pools.  We did not engage in the many activities offered by the resort but did spend one day at Disney combining Animal Kingdom and Epcot where their annual flower show was in full bloom. We explored the Orlando area and were treated to dinner and opening night at their Shakespeare Theater Festival.  I have an "in" with the Artistic Director who is family twice removed.  What would you call that?? The theater reminded me of my hometown's local equity house but Jim's season agenda is much more ambitious.  He is doing an incredible job there and the performance of "Much Ado About Nothing" was full of energy, laughs and great character acting.

And, I got a new phone!

Leaving Florida was difficult and I am trying to make more permanent plans for next year.  Up in New York, besides attending a board meeting of the Women's Bar Association, I had my grandmother fix with a birthday party for my six-year old grandson, watching his adorable sister, and holding the newest of my eleven.  However, sad news interrupted my travels which were planned for a quick hop into Boston for my film lovers award ceremony.  Chlotrudis will have to wait another year.  

I returned home so that I could attend the funeral services for my brother who died that Friday.  This meant a very long car ride to West Virginia made a bit easier by the constant banter between my son and daughter and their newly acquired mascot, The Raven.  Originally, it was a gift for his nephew that my son brought home from London but my daughter confiscated it and since these two have been talking for and to animals since they could talk, the conversation was on.  If I can I will download a picture of my son and The Raven.  I don't think I have heard Jill laugh so hard in a long time.  Thank you, Ronnie.

And now friends, you think, she is home for sure...... No, I am not.  Three days was all I had at home before leaving for Denver and flying into the blizzard of the season in the Rockies.  What? 

After this, I am off to Sedona, Arizona, land of the Sun for a week.... more later.

And the envelope, please...

I know most of you did not even bother.  I, on the other hand, got my snacks, ballot and family together to engage in my annual Oscar ritual.  Other family and friends checked in by phone or email to see what was happening.  Some still have the Oscar guilt that I instilled in them many years ago that they HAD to watch until the (bitter) end.  Then, there is the personal tie......

Today, I checked the local blogs and was very surprised at the nastiness flowing from them.  The venom was so vicious I felt someone had unleashed many "Snidely Whiplashes" on the web. Comments on clothes, couples, and the overall show were horrible. Honestly, why do these people even watch the Oscars anyway?  If you hate it that much, do something else.  Presenters were chastised for slipping up on a name or putting one in the wrong order.  The usual complaint about the show being too long prevailed although it didn't stop each self-appointed critic from watching and criticizing to the very end.  

No one seemed to have anything good to say and I wondered if I had watched the same show. Now, I have watched a lot of Oscar shows and even been to one so in my "expert" opinion, this show was clearly the best.  Why? For starters, Hugh Jackman!!  He is the consummate performer; a dancer, singer, stand-up and a lover.  Hugh was classy, sassy and just plain fun.  Ask that man back, please. The opening number was fantastic and the setting of the stage and the audience lit up the Kodak Theater like an old fashion movie musical set.  It was great theater.  Presenting the awards as if you were making a movie provided insight into the film making process. And then the change-up of having five previous winners acknowledge each of the nominated actors with compliments and gratitude high-lighted each performance.  The camera on the nominee's face showed the appreciation each one felt on hearing such glowing words spoken about them.  There was emotion on the stage and in the audience.  

There were a couple of missteps but come on, this is a live show after all. And it did run long, as usual but that had nothing to do with the show, the acceptance speeches, or the musical numbers.  The commercials which came after every award toward the end were brutal. You not only had to sit through them but, unlike the Super Bowl, they were boring or ones you have seen many times.  Ugh!!  That is commercial television folks....not the Oscar show itself.  If you could record it and see it later, fast-forwarding through the commercials, the show is probably of reasonable length and much more enjoyable. 

And the winners---Kate Winslet was deserving in both her part and her time but Meryl's time is overdue.  Sean Penn did not have to wait 25 years for his second acting accolade.  Meryl will be nominated next year too but she was the best this year in "Doubt."  No doubt about it.  Maybe she has to do what seems to win, play gay in a holocaust movie.  Remember someone said that to Winslet and guess what?? I did love Penelope Cruz both in the movie and on stage.  The best couple of the night.....Tina Fey and Steve Martin.

Best dress---Miley Cyrus was the picture of a princess at the ball.  She said it was heavy to wear and I bet it was.

Best moments---- were the actors on stage (legends all) honoring the next generation of talent.  Seeing Robert DiNero, Sophia Loren, Shirley MacLaine, etc was amazing and a new tradition that will be around for some time, I think.

Hugh Jackman owned the night along with Slumdog Millionaire (those children were adorable) and Milk.  But it really belonged to all of us who love movies--go see the winners and the losers because they are all remarkable.

P.S. The hat is covering "dreads" which are there for the movie, Jack Goes Boating that is being filmed as we speak.  As he said, he would rather deal with "hat jokes" than "hair jokes."

Impeachment---What is it??

You can look it up and maybe you should since it may become a part of the political landscape from now on. Impeachment is a two step process. A legislative body votes articles of impeachment or just impeaches someone and then the senate or in some cases the same legislative body rules on conviction and removal. Everything about it is vague and a civil officer (whatever that means) may be removed from office if the legislative body finds he or she has done something that warrants such action. It sounds a little like that Supreme Court decision on pornography when a justice trying to define pornography said, "I know it when I see it."

We all have a history schoolbook memory of impeachment by Congress of President Andrew Johnson and how he avoided being expelled from office by one vote. He was very unpopular and many thought it was political and a way to remove a president without shooting him. (although they tried that too)

Our modern day memory is of Bill Clinton and many think he was successfully found guilty and impeached when in reality the House (Republican controlled) voted out articles of impeachment against him and lost at trial in the Senate. To complete the impeachment process it takes impeachment and conviction followed by removal from office. At the time, I remember thinking it felt like a "witch-hunt." Clinton had engaged in an extra-marital affair and then lied under oath about it. ( I have often said, Clinton Lied, Nobody Died....Bush....(you finish it))

Everyone was quite disgusted with Clinton and the Republicans saw a chance to get rid of him seeing as they could not defeat him in an election. I remember I was constantly arguing with someone that impeachment was inappropriate and even dangerous if Congress used it to remove a President they didn't like.

What is my point here? This is a long way to get to the present day and the Governor of Illinois. Today Blagojevich was impeached and removed from office and I, for one, am worried. He has not been indicted, charged with a crime and he had no trial. Yet, he is gone for acts unknown. Oh, of course I know about the alleged selling of the Senate seat and other charges of buying and selling favors, etc but all I know is the talk---and more talk. Where are the actions. I can talk about a lot of things but the conspiracy that comes from that talk needs an act toward an end. Everyone respects the Atty General Fitzgerald but noone is perfect and he may have acted too soon. After all, he has now requested more time to investigate. That smells of someone without the requisite elements necessary for the crime. With delay and more time, it is hoped that some useful information might drop out of the tree.

Being a staunch believer in "process", I am worried about what is happening here and that is my point. Maybe Blagojevich is a crook but the people elected him and unless he is convicted of a crime, impeachment is closer to a lynching than I like. What will stop this from happening elsewhere? If a political party wants to remove a duly elected official, they can discover something off-base, whip it up publicly on our 24-7 news cycle or on the blogs and have the person out within 30-60 days. There isn't any appeal.

The public is like a mob that acts with one mind based upon information that may be accurate but may not. That is why we have our legal system that affords the accused rights...rights to an attorney, a trial, a jury of peers. We did not give that to the Governor of Illinois. He is gone---Should we hang a sign...Mission Accomplished!!

It is "frakkin" cold!!

Sub-zero temperatures, snow drifting and blowing in 25 mile hour winds....and I am hibernating until tomorrow when I head for the Florida sun. I am in luck though because tonight is the beginning of the final season of one of my two favorite television shows (okay, there are really three)----24 and Damages and --- Battlestar Gallactica!! So, to get ready they are showing the entire previous season all day today. Wow!! What better way to hibernate than watch a repeat of last season. The trial of Baltar, Roslyn's illness, the revealing of the four ceylons onboard, Cara's return and quest for Earth, deception, and love... the joining of forces to survive. It is amazing stuff and so well done. I know most of you do not know what I am talking about but those few who do, have fun tonight. More on the other great tv shows later. Talk to me about your favorites.

A Quick Note

I am trying to upgrade this blog with more information.  A start is the list of "movies to see" which I am posting on the right.  It will be updated from time to time to give those of you who might be interested an idea of what I like and recommend for viewing.  For obvious reasons, I will not list any movies of Phil's.  They are for you to see if you choose.  I am going to try to add some pictures from time to time and maybe a clip or two from youtube.  I need to become more tech-savvy about this and I will.   My New Year's resolution is to do more writing and complete some projects I have been dreaming about.  More later.